


Old Leather

by EsculentEvil



Series: EsculentEvil's BatJokes Shots [13]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Blanket Fic, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Mature Jokes, Silver Age, Snow and Ice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 15:45:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16875642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EsculentEvil/pseuds/EsculentEvil
Summary: The Joker's freezing inside of a warehouse; Batman sheds his new Kevlar shell to warm him.Originally posted to my Tumblr @esculentevil





	Old Leather

**Author's Note:**

> Quick notes:  
> 1) This is set during the Silver Age of DC which means that the characters featured in this fic are closer to Cesar Romero's Joker and Adam West's Batman; in fact, for those that have read my Joking Mirrors series, the Joker in this fic is the Silver Age's equivalent of Lead (The Original Joker from 1940/The Golden Age), Lethe.
> 
> 2) Joker briefly relates his current experience to a previous psychotic break he's had; I'm not sure if this will disturb anyone so I'm just noting it here beforehand.

It’s  **freezing**.

Joker shivers as he sits, huddled, behind brittle metal walls. They do almost nothing to defend him against the blizzard that’s raging outside. These walls belong to the abandoned warehouse he’d chosen to concoct a bomb that would  _warm_  his beloved city, Gotham, which is currently stuck in the height of its post-winter-holiday storm season.

He realizes, now, that he probably should have checked the weather report first.

The snow outside is falling so heavily that the entire city looks white. He has to blink emphatically whenever he gazes out of a window to make sure he isn’t having a psychotic break that’s causing him to not see colors again (Yes, this has happened before; spend too much time in a too white Arkham cell and it’ll probably happen to you, as well.). The fact that the whole warehouse is metal and gray doesn’t really help. He’s the only spot of color in here and he can’t really see himself.

(I need a mirror...)

As he thinks this, a shadow shifts in the corner of his eye and he turns to see the only other colored thing in the vicinity. He smiles, “Ah~ welcome to the party, Batsy!” He giggles at the rhyme.

“Not much of a party, Joker,” the caped crusader quips back.

Joker squeals in delight as his dark knight approaches him. He then flinches a second later as his chattering teeth clack together noisily and ruins his flirtatious grin. (So not funny!) His Bat was, though—very funny. He giggles charmingly as he recovers from his dental faux pas and does his best to suppress his unsightly shivers.

His love still notices, of course.

The grey- and blue-clad man stops short because of this, a soft frown settling on his face. He stares at his arch-nemesis from behind the protection of his cowl and seems to be contemplating something. Joker, unused to such attention—particularly from  **him** —fights the urge to hold himself.

Instead, he bats away his shyness and flirts again, “You know I love them  _tall, dark, and_ silent,  _handsome_ ~ Hehe~!”

“You’re cold,” Batman states, easily ignoring his counterpart’s advances. Equally easily, he ignores the clown’s pouting protests. “Is pride really worth turning into a block of ice?”

Joker—despite being bleached white—blushes.

Batman sighs and shakes his head. There’s a slight rise to the corner of his mouth that suggests a smile but Joker’s too busy being cold and flushed to really comment on it. (Shame... it’s nice.) Instead, he tries to get his blood away from his face and everywhere else to help warm him up.

This fails the moment Batman takes off one of his armor plates.

As Joker watches the first piece of Kevlar fall, his jaw drops with it. His blood does that weird thing where it rushes at once to his face  **and**  to places unseen. Panel after panel, the Kevlar comes off and Joker finds himself staring at the old leather suit he hadn’t realized he’s been missing.

The clown’s mouth goes dry as he’s finally allowed, after nearly half a decade, to feast his eyes on that toned body once again (Yea, my blood is too far down.).

“Come here,” Batman commands, voice dark but somehow gentle. He lifts his arm, baring his unprotected right side, and gestures the jester closer.

Joker just stares.

For a moment, he contemplates pinching himself—just to see if this is real. This idea is trashed, however, when he remembers pain isn’t really something he feels. He’ll have to find another way to test that this moment’s validity.

He grins through his shock and shivers as he thinks of it.

Batman raises a brow and looks significantly more guarded as he watches Joker rummage through his suit jacket (I really should have worn something warmer.). He doesn’t quite drop his arm, however, so his invitation is still open.

And Joker takes it.

Sliding up to the leather-clad vigilante, Joker presses himself experimentally against his counterpart’s warm bulk and almost purrs in pleasure. He wraps an arm around his hero’s side and up over his back so he’s grasping a shoulder under the thick weight of leather wings.

As warmth tingles across his chilled fingers, Joker sighs (O, this is nice~).

Refocusing on his task, the clown quickly pulls out what he was looking for and administers his test. Batman, of course, relaxes in surprise as he watches his supposed worst enemy uncap his lipstick—of all things—and draw a  **bat**  on his chest. It takes a moment, but the Bat does realize what the criminal is doing.

He’s adding the Batman symbol to his old leather outfit because it was removed when it was refitted with Kevlar.

A laugh escapes him and is greeted by Joker’s elated grin.

**Author's Note:**

> They were supposed to cuddle but I’m tired; plus, the lipstick-bat was the main goal. xD


End file.
